Why I Love the Unitarians

On Sunday, I took Maisie to see the Pageant of the Nativity at The First Parish Unitarian Universalist church in Portland.

Here is some of what the back of the program states: (I have highlighted the parts that spoke the deepest to me)

UU is a liberal religion with Jewish-Christian roots.  It has no creed.  It affirms the worth of all human beings and advocates freedom of belief and the search for advancing truth.

UU thought eagerly embraces the positive truths expressed by the great religions of the world.  Tonight's Pageant celebrates this inclusiveness not only by honoring the birth of Jesus, but also by underscoring the meeting of East and West in the presence of the symbolic Spirit of Goodwill.  It is our hope you will find in the presentation not only a celebration of the birth of one of history's great prophets, but also an expression of the true spirit of goodwill among all peoples. May you also sense the importance of the birth of yourself.  Just as candles lit the way for the apostles and disciples of old, when you light a candle at home, may you be reminded that the Light of the World exists not only in Jesus and the other prophets of old, but also in each of us.


The mission of the church is to nurture the spirit, serve the community, and help to heal the world.

Gun Control Begins at Home

There has been a great deal written and spoken lately regarding the need and battle for tighter gun control.  It appears (hopefully and blessedly so) that this latest and most inhumane mass murder/shooting has tipped the general populace into action.  People like myself, who had no (apparent) stake in the argument are now awakening to the reality of firepower available to the average Joe citizen. This latest atrocity has even managed to shake some long-time gun proponents who are now  vocal advocates of tightening things up. I was pretty laizez-faire regarding gun ownership. I don't own one (except a Daisy BB gun given to me as a gift) and don't desire to possess one.  I have shot rifles and hand guns but am far from an enthusiast.  I have never killed another living, sentient being with gun power. However, I am sickened by pro-firearm folk who trivialize and minimize and blame the victim with their blanket Neanderthal-like responses to the outrage and yes, reactionary (I would rather be reactionary to something of this magnitude, than numb or indifferent) voices. The pro gun agenda retorts: guns don't kill people, people kill people; if they had had a gun they could have defended themselves; the media sensationalizes the ammunition, the gun, etc.; I have a /an [ insert type of gun] and I don't go around killing people, it's my constitutional right...I challenge anyone who thinks these arguments are still legit and moral to look into the eyes of the parents of the children murdered and the spouses and children of the adults killed and voice this drivel.

It has been asked WHY would anyone need these types of weapons? Yet, a day after this latest killing spree gun retailers are reporting their strongest sales ever for the type of weapons that were used to kill women and children in a public school in a New England town during the Christmas season.

The question begs to be asked again...why?  Why do Americans feel they need the biggest, the best, the most powerful, the fastest, nastiest? Ego and self-worth? Because we are afraid?  Because we can? It is all a house of cards.

These things don't come cheap either.  Imagine all the good that could be done with that money...food for your community, heat for your neighbors, support for the environment, health care. If you want to keep the money in your own pocket take a trip, a class...anything but perpetuate a lifestyle of violence and selfish indignation.

  I used to sell cars a decade ago. A common stipulation from customers often would be "I don't want automatic windows". I would ask why and the response always came back "In case I end up in the water I want to be able to get out."  Really?  How often has that happened to you? Maybe you should take a driving class or a different route...which leads me to my point. Next time you feel yourself wanting to thump your chest and proclaim your right to possess that which is the biggest and the best and can deliver a can of whoop ass to whomever, ask yourself why?.

There's an old familiar feel to the air tonight-actually all day it has been there.  The sky is different, the leaves or lack thereof is shifted...the air, everything screams late November.  When I suggest it is an old feeling, I mean old.  Ancient, in the bones memory that is pre-verbal and primordial.  It has always been this way for me.  Winter, cold, chill, ice, Earth standing hard as iron and water like a stone-these are the things that simultaneously ground me and fill me with elation.

I have been subsurface giddy all day looking at my weather icon on my iphone showing snow for two days next week. On the flip side of that coin is my less subdued anxiety and agitation when we do get some of the white stuff and it is pummeled by rain or mixes with freezing rain before the blanketing is completed.

For someone like me, the effects of global warming robs us of our innate nature. I identify with the polar bear, among other Artic dreamers who find themselves cut off from their spiritual succor. (Although I am aware for Polar Bear it is a matter of physical life and death-and ultimately ours as well, no matter what the nay-sayers may state.)

Ullr hear our prayers.

News

Two new things added to PAGES: INSPIRATIONS and a new group offering in TALK.

Inspirations will catalog place, groups, events, writing people who inspire me.

TALK is taking shape with my commitment to offering sustainable personal development consultation.  What does this mean? It means coaching people to make changes they desire in their lives and relationships that are in line with their economic, social, and environmental values so that change and growth can be attained and maintained.  This coaching will be priced sustainably i.e. affordable. Hopefully, making it available to more people.

Individual and telephone sessions: $50 /hour; $75/ hour and one-half

Groups: $200/4 sessions/ 6 people limit




Please check these out  and share with your friends, families and colleagues.

Cellular Memory

Every night Abby goes for a walk.  Every other night, it is my turn to take her for her evening constitutional.  I always make her wait when we come back into the driveway until I unsnap her collar from the leash.  I get enjoyment from watching her bound up the steps into the house.  The other night I realized it is my middle-aged version of releasing the dogsled from the truck.

When I was young, my father and I raced dog teams.  We would hook the sled up to the bumper of the pick up truck and then put four to six dogs in harness and onto the lead and gang lines attached to the sled.  It was a loud and raucous and bursting with excitement and anticipation good time.  The dogs would leap and howl and shiver waiting for the moment when all that pent up energy would be unleashed. Usually, there was a plow comb where the town trucks stopped plowing the road and the trail began a few feet from where we launched the teams.  After all the dogs were ready to go, I would grasp the handle of the sled with one hand and reach down and unsnap the hardware on the line holding the sled, that was bouncing around and lurching forward with each lunge of the team, to the truck and swoosh-we were out of there like a shot. Within seconds I would be airborne on the sled going over the plow comb, hit the soft pack of the trail and the team would settle into their cadence.  We would glide into the woods, the cacaphony of the making ready falling away and replaced by the tamped down footfalls of the team, the slight sound of the runners on the snow and the breathing of the dogs.

What I would give for one of those afternoons with my dad and dogs again...everything was possible then.  

So for a brief moment a few nights a week I am 12 years old deep in the woods of upstate NY anticipating the ride even as I am watching and hoping my parent's geriatric Keeshound clears the steps into the house.

When you stop doing things for fun, you might as well be dead.  Long live fun and adventure.  Take more adventure days.

Just Out of Grasp

You know when you are searching for a word and it's just not coming to you?  You almost have it and poof ! it's gone. That is how I am feeling about creating the right livelihood I am looking for.  Perhaps it's just the contemplations are not quite the right fit, but there is something waiting to be manifested -I just know it.  Now if I could only manifest it.

Adventure may hurt you but monotony will kill you.

Life Guidelines

I was teaching an Ethical Wills class a few weeks ago and there was a block of time for individual writing in order to at least start the project (a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step).  I didn't want to appear disinterested in the material, so I too began to jot down some thoughts.  My intended audience was my 4 1/2 year old daughter, but could also easily be interpreted as a letter to myself (you can take that self-satisfied smirk off your face any time Dr. Freud).

• GET OUTSIDE-OFTEN
• TAKE MORE ADVENTURE DAYS
• CHOOSE FUN
• LIVE COMFORTABLY
• MONEY IS NOT BAD-USE IT!
• ALWAYS LEARN-EDUCATION IS POWER
• BE ENGAGED IN  YOUR WORLD AND LIFE
• DO NOT LET FEAR STOP YOU
• BE KIND TO ALL LIVING THINGS

Megalodon and Other Career Dreams.

In the past few weeks I have been exposed to a perfect storm of sorts.  I am reading Rachel Carson's The Sea Around Us, a 1952 classic scientific romance. The print is small and densely loaded on the yellowed pages that tear easily from the glued spine of the hand-sized paperback-and I LOVE it! During this time we went to H. E.'s family camp on the Union River in Trenton, Maine.  The Union is a tidal river and at low tide lies an amazing portal to an otherwise unseen marine world. An in situ touch tank of krill, anenomes, urchins, starfish, large crabs, and even squid! I'm sure there were other creatures who observed us even as we were blind to them.  This trip was followed by  Discovery Channel's "Shark Week".  The theme of which for me, distilled down to great photography /videography and Megalodon.

An assortment of images from these experiences, real and imagined creep into my mind's eye throughout the day and more than once have kept we awake at night, not in a nightmarish way, but with full -on curiosity and excitement.

Add to this some career/right-livelihood exploration and Viola...a long buried part of me has come a calling.  When I was growing up, I envisioned myself a scientist, a researcher...more specifically a palentologist and then a marine biologist.  It struck me this morning, for my 12 year old self, the perfect job would be a marine paleontologist! Starting with the Paleozoic era and Cambrian period.  Alas, I am no longer 12 years old, but reading Ms. Carson's poetic descriptions about the birth and trials of the oceans and seas on Earth and the evolution of life in these waters is, hopefully leading to a personal evolution and adaptation to a better, stronger, more physically, fiscally and worklife fit me.

Skills and Attributes

I performed a "baptism" recently.  My daughter, Maisie, was there and seemed to take it all in and we got to calling it  a "welcome to the world ceremony" for a baby.  Several hours later, while driving home from another family event. she started to hatch a plan about getting me in touch with families who have babies and may want to have my services for a "welcome to the world ceremony".  She suggested speaking to people we know to find out where they live and then to call others who have little babies to see if "they want Momma to come to their house to have a party and celebration".

Natural born community builder, marketer, and tele-marketer.  Please, Universe,  help her use it for good in her world and the world.

Ugh.

     One of the metaphors I use with my clients is the idea of change and growth being like waves or tornadoes.
     With the wave imagery, we often feel like we are at the beginning of a difficult time or experience/situation all over again.  However, like a wave that curls back on itself and then pushes forward with renewed momentum and strength,we really find ourselves not at the beginning, but much further along again.
    Similarly, the tornado swoops us up in all this energy and chaos, but over time we find ourselves higher up in the funnel with a new perspective.  As time goes on we continue to revisit certain issues, but always higher up (from the ground and chaos) and from a different angle.
     I never said it was easy or pleasant...especially when the wave is cresting or the funnel cloud is on the move.
     And so it is that I am revisiting the career/livelihood quandry-yet again.

(The Forrester Wave)

Sunrise, Sunset...

This day is coming faster than we can imagine.

Hope we are all here to enjoy it.

Apologies...

I have been neglecting this space.  It is not intentional, just something that snuck up and raced time.  I feel as though there are "all the signs" as they have written about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes marriage ending,  about the demise of this blog...fewer entries, shorter entries, excuses...

However, that is not the case.

Summer is here and I am hoping to fill this space with tales of adventure and derring do-or at least good old fashined good times and interesting stuff!

Ennui

It is raining. It has been raining more on than off for several days. I struggle with the staleness of work, a colonoscopy- enforced rest from Crossfit and related activities. There is a malaise and unrest that is settled over me. I am reduced to fantasy on the order of WWTSD- What Would Tony Stark Do? I am 49 years old and find myself emulating a comic book character? Granted, he is really cool and hip AND morally ambivalent -more hero than super, but still...these are dangerous days. I guard against abandoning the ScionxB and speeding away in a Volvo C20.

10 Things I Am Digging Right Now

• Maisie's obsession with John Denver-although at times it is a little creepy.
• Toying with the idea of getting a new truck-someday!
• Shopping for a DSLR camera.
• Although this is not very permaculturally correct, the smell of freshly mown grass.
• My "new" Specialized Hardrock Mountain Bike.
• Maisie tooling around on her "new" bike in the driveway.
• Watching Frasier reruns.
• Mountain Magazine.
• Crossfit.
• Looking forward to seeing Snow White and the Huntsman and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer.

Friday Photo

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. (Inspired by Soule Mama)

Suddenly, I am craving an adult kick scooter. Huh...

Friday Photo

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. (Inspired by Soule Mama)

Earth Day

Whatever happened to Earth Day?  I have seen a spattering of events here and there, but nothing like the carnival of choices of yester year.

Maybe I am more sensitive to it as I am currently involved in a nature writing course. Or perhaps, the one day spectacle of do gooders and hippies has morphed into a 365 day a year involved cadre of concerned citizens saving the environment and the earth through a daily grind.

I sincerely hope it is the second scenario.

What are you committed to or (re) committing to this Earth Day?

Some suggested reading:


The EarthSpeaks
Plan B
Gaia's Garden
Desert Solitare
Living Downstream

Union River looking toward Blue Hill, ME

48-fortey ate (+ 1 )(Oops, how is that for a Freudian slip?) I meant to say 49

This is it.  This is what my forty eight (49) looks like.  Not what I expected, if I even had any expectations, but upon consideration of what has transpired to get here and a multitude of lesser alternatives, it is GOOD.  On my own bequest...may there be MANY more.

Happy Endings

I 've been thinking about movies and books that are popular, such as the Hunger Games.  There is often not a clear hero or heroine and often the setting or action of the movies are less than heartening.  I have always struggled with the "classic' movies.  I thought it was just bad acting, but now I think it more a reflection on what I was reared on for moral development.  Shows like 30 Something which is chock-a-block with furtive glances and solemn stares kept me scratching my head. Stories like Lord of Flies always felt unfinished to me. The simplicity of a strong and moral character has become more important to me again as Maisie is getting into the meaning of things.  The shows she watches on Nickelodeon and Sprout are very heavily skewed  toward the moral high ground. I like that. She is a child-the world is suppose to be safe and happy and fair. We are branching out into Disney movies, which stretch this principle.  Bambi (which I can't watch, but apparently Maisie can), The Lion King,  Spirit, and the feel-good movie The Aristocats have been big hits, that have stirred up a lot of pretending, questions, and connections.

I think as a culture-or even-race, we need more clearly defined heroes choosing to be brave, just, and kind.

Approaching 50

My 49th birthday is coming soon.  Of course, this leads to thoughts of turning 50. Maybe 50 is the new 30, but the body is still 50 years old and I have done a lot to this machine in the 5 decades I have been in it. Crossfit has given me a new perspective on fitness and the possibilities for MY body, but it also has illuminated the creaks,  weakness, and chronic pains that seem to crop up randomly and often.

Some goals I want to realize as I approach and enter my next decade include:

• Travel-big adventure travel (for me) -Yosemite, Caribbean, Iceland, Scandinavia...
• Lose weight=live longer.  I don't want to be a chronic, long-term care patient and I want to be a viable parent for Maisie well into her adulthood.
• Build a usable Crossfit garage gym
• Own a Jeep Wrangler
• Get a good family fishing boat
• Launch a lucrative writing career

Not Over the Hill, yet.

The two goals I have in the cross hairs and will have a domino effect on the others are Crossfit and writing. I am taking a grant writing class and a nature writing class this spring and rebooting my efforts on this blog. I am issuing myself (and any of you who would like to join me) a 50 Burpees Challenge starting April 11, 2012.  Starting on the 11th and for the next 50 days I will do daily consecutive burpees, i.e. 1 on the 11th, 2 on the 12th....until on the 50th day I will do 50 burpees.  That is a total of 1275 (if I did the math right-notice math mastery is NOT one of my identified goals).

And as always, thinking about doing a Spartan Sprint.

This is What Happens to Winter People in Early Spring

   


 I was scrapping scrambled egg crud out of a cast iron frying pan tonight and when I looked down what I saw was a scrapper removing wax and klister from a skinny ski.

     Zeus, didn't I miss winter this year?  I suffer from an abhorrent form of seasonal affective disorder this time of year when we have a full on bon hiver.  This year is it is plainly a searing, festering affliction.  My wounds have experienced the soothing balm of red-winged black bird's chirlee song, yet I know, my recovery will be protracted.

Sovereign Citizen?

I recently saw a Yahoo! news blurb about individuals claiming sovereign citizenship. I didn't read the article to get a sense of what their political rhetoric entailed, but the term, sovereign citizen struck a cord with me.  It may be my Yankee upbringing, being an only child, an ISTJ (Meyers-Briggs), or my introversion, but I definitely lean toward independence and an extremely laissez-faire slant.

In spite of this, or because of it, I also value the group experience. I loved school, being on sports teams, dorm life.  I do better in life in a couplet.  I like the idea of co-ops. Small group experience is great for me...dinner with friends,  small hands on classes...

Interdependence is survival and more pleasant.

Everybody wants to be a cat.

     Everybody, everybody, everybody wants to be a cat...so sings Duchess and O'Malley and the gang in the Disney classic The Aristocats.  (circa 1970)
     Mr. Thomas  O'Malley, alley cat, exudes charm, suaveness,  courage, and self-confidence. He talks like Frank Sinatra and looks like Bruce Springsteen. I  want to be O'Malley.  I want to be this cat in the same way I emulated all the men in the shows and movies I watched growing up.  In the same way I prayed every night "Please let me become a man overnight and have nobody ask any questions".
     Perhaps it is a matter of maturity or gender acceptance, but I am woefully bereft of feel good role models to emulate these days. One could make the argument that at nearly 50 years old, I should be my own moral and character North Star. And, generally, I think I am. I stridently hope that I am a guiding compass point for my daughter. Still, I challenge you to sit down with the Aristocats (or your own pre-pubescent hero(s)) and see for yourself if it doesn't stir a longing for something (or someone) more in your heart.

Graphic Material

Here is a sampling of notes found recently in our home.

This is a note Maisie wrote to me after an injury she incurred while we were rough-housing.  It says Dear Momma, I still love you even though it was your fault and you pushed me off the bed. Thank you for apologizing, even though it was your fault. 

This is a grocery list written by Maisie with a note to myself superimposed on it.

Live Well

I was stopped for speeding a few weeks ago.  I was keeping up with traffic, but was clocked in a speed trap. The way I looked at it, considering all the time I have spent driving for work in the last 8 years, I had been pretty lucky.  Being one of the speeders singled out by the speed trap felt like 'my number was up".
Surprisingly, I have found myself increasingly reticent to drive (for work) long distances or in remotely questionable weather. This has surprised me and  I am aware of a nagging worry of "if my luck ran out regarding the speeding ticket where else will my luck lag"?
Then I came across an article by Miriam Greenspan.  In it is a quote-"Life is inherently risky, and all we can really do is live well'.

 In addition, I comfort myself with watching reruns of the Mary Tyler Moore, Newhart and Bob Newhart shows-hearkening back to when I either didn't have any real concerns or they were of the nature of getting the feathering (with the curling iron/blow dryer) of my hair just so.

Time Marches On

Maisie, January 2012

Maisie, January 2008

Me,  sometime in 1963

Me,  january 2012

Leaning Towards Acceptance

I recently came across this idea.  It's called Kinfolk. It's visually and graphically beautiful. It represents in a stylized fashion what is most important to me. As an introvert I have always known that I am most comfortable with a few close and deeply meaningful friends sharing good food in a natural setting-talking, sitting quietly, doing something- anything, no limit to the content of conversation and letting this happen time and again over a number of weeks, months and years until there is a deep and rich tonal mellowness to the interactions.  Yet, there is a part of me that still struggles with trying to be the extrovert-larger than life and the life of the party. This dichotomy is present for me in my personal and interpersonal realms and my career/work stage. There are times when I can clearly see my way and other times when I strive toward what I know is not ME, but the me I believe I should be.  Sometimes, I am in the flow with the rightness for me or (righteousness perhaps) and other times I am mired in anxiety and discontent for either choosing "wrongly" or feeling at odds.  As I have gotten older, I have experienced the phenomena of "the more I know, the less I am sure" about a lot of stuff in life.  I am OK with that. Nothing is written in stone...

As a parent, I want to be able to give everything I've got...so far I have gotten more from my daughter- many examples of being in the moment, self mastery and regard, social skills...I just want to be able to ease in and let it all be and shake out to what is. And create a right livelihood for me and my family that enhances and reflects our lifestyles.
To that end, we had a small gathering of artistic people who shared good food, drink, space and conversation last night.  And they are moving toward their own level of acceptance-they might be having twins!  Thanks guys! Love you and good luck!

Let's Not Call Them Resolutions Necessarily...

The wheel has turned again and we are in the infancy of a new year.  Some would suggest this is the last year (See 2012 Mayan Prophecy).  I sure hope that it isn't.  There  is a lot I still want to either continue doing or begin doing.  The following is short sampler of what I have in mind:

• Crossfit:  on my own and as time and finances permit, at a box.  I also am toying with the idea of doing an obstacle course type of race like this. 
• Along with Crossfit comes the Paleo diet.  
• Utilize our newly designed permaculture beds to our best benefit.
• Get OUTSIDE as often as possible.
• Plan and maybe even go on a trip-top contenders are California and Iceland.
• Focus on writing as a viable income generator
• Have fun and enjoy family and friends
• Say Yes more often than I say No
• ...

Exhibit A of how to live life on your own terms.