I knew I would miss her, but I had no idea this much. It would have been worse, perhaps, if she had died suddenly a few years ago when she had more vigor and faculties and was a constant- at my side, in the car...always touching, leaning, prodding to be touched. In the past two years or so she had been fading away- did not like to be touched, slept more, rode less, everything slower...only leaning on Maisie. I know, by my own experience, it is easy to shut out the world when you can't hear it, see it or move fluidly in it.
She was my parent's dog. She was picked up as a stray and taken in by the animal shelter. A purebred Keeshond. My folks had her about 5 years, then my father died unexpectedly. Her little world lost it's rhythm of car rides and chores like feeding the chickens. No more nightly drives around the lake to see the cows, get ice cream and eat french fries with abandon. We bonded, during my monthly visits to help my mother figure out what she was going to do moving forward. We would ride, walk, cuddle...then my mother died nine months after my father. During the month from the time of my mothers lung cancer diagnosis until her death, Abby and I were inseparable. I couched it as my mother's need to see her, but really it was me who wanted and needed her companionship. She was welcomed at the hospice house where my mother lived out her last days and was put to work visiting patients and their families.
She came to Maine to live with us in February, but we were living in a condo and could not have dogs, so she lived with some good friends, Paulette (and Betsy). They had two dogs of their own- a big malamute mix, a chunky Springer and another canine boarder, a large lab mix. After a brief, but fierce bout of colitis, Abby ruled as queen of the pack even though she could easily walk underneath two of the boys. She finally was able to live with us in August. She had to learn to negotiate a large, mean green tabby who had never been around dogs and then, in January, Maisie was born. Now she had a baby to contend with as well. But, for her, as long as she got to put her bum in a car and go for a ride, everything else was cake.
A few years ago she was diagnosed with Lyme, liver and kidney disease. Her hearing and eyesight were diminished and she had a touch of the "old-timers". Her mobility was compromised as she lost muscle tone and feeling in her hind quarters. This was the most difficult as it was what we could see the most readily.
The night before she died, I held her tight to my heart and "told" her I was ready to let go if she was. She did not need to be stoic just to make me happy. She had been the very best dog and companion. She leaned into my embrace and sighed.
I often joked that she was not only my inheritance but my "sister" too, as she was the only other living thing that knew what it was like to live with my parents. I hope they are happy with the care and love Abby received from us.
I also hope they are having one hell of a reunion with Notorious D-O-G.
Love and miss you Abbinator. Thank you.
