Well, Maisie has gotten at least one indignity (in my experience and that of a number of friends anyway) out of the way...she shat her self in public. You might think, "What's the big deal? She's a baby. She does it all the time." Which is true, but this was really an exceptional episode as we were in Whole Foods and let's just say we came home with less food than we originally had in the cart. That's right...the blast blew out or more like, leaked out, her britches and into the cart. I will qualify it and say she does have a touch of a GI disturbance, but still it reminded me of my first retail related bruhaha. I was in high school and shopping at a mall in Albany, NY with a girl I was trying to impress and her family. I believe the scene of the crime was JC Penny. I gave her all my money and asked her to go buy me a new pair of jeans. After what seemed an eternity in the stall, I heard her mother calling my name and asking me what was going on. Now, her mother looked like a hotter Shirley Feeney, so you can imagine the degradation. There was also two sisters and an aunt involved in aiding me in my situation. The decision was made (and not be me I might add) that we would not buy me new pants and we would go to the aunt's house and do laundry instead. This entailed all new levels of humilation from leaving the bathroom, riding in the car, stripping and borrowing clothes while the wash was being done to explaining to the 14 year old nephew and husband exactly why I had taken to bed in the middle of the afternoon. I feigned illness to explain the untamed outburst from my nether regions, but the truth was I felt fine, although now of a more dimunitive stature. To their credit none of them ever gave me grief about it, mostly likely because it or something similar had happened to them or they realized it was just a matter of time.
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