October teaches me ...again.

It's approaching three thirty a.m. and the backyard is illuminated by a nearly full moon hanging low and squat in the western night sky. I am waiting for the dog who has awakened me so that she can go out and relieve herself. This is happening with increasing frequency as her age and the effects of a newly diagnosed kidney disease make themselves more known.  Turning as I shut the door, a wisp of a memory brushes up against me-it is Maisie snug in bed between her mother and I. A pang of ...of what?  I'm not really sure what to call it.  Am I envious of my young daughter for whom the weight of the world does not yet labor her slumber?  Am I sensing the icy grasp of a grief long forgotten? The loss of my own worldly innocence,  a time when, I too, was nested in the loving embrace of those I held most dear to me in my little realm? It is said the veil between "here" and "there" is thinner this time of year...perhaps it is one of my ancestors paying a visit; reminding me to mind what I have and to let go that which I don't.

Perhaps this is the secret of staying (en)lightened- wings and a tutu?

Savor joy!