Urban Grange Hall

Live Well

2012-01-24T22:08:00.000-05:00

I was stopped for speeding a few weeks ago. I was keeping up with traffic, but was clocked in a speed trap. The way I looked at it, considering all the time I have spent driving for work in the last 8 years, I had been pretty lucky. Being one of the speeders singled out by the speed trap felt like 'my number was up".
Surprisingly, I have found myself increasingly reticent to drive (for work) long distances or in remotely questionable weather. This has surprised me and I am aware of a nagging worry of "if my luck ran out regarding the speeding ticket where else will my luck lag"?
Then I came across an article by Miriam Greenspan. In it is a quote-"Life is inherently risky, and all we can really do is live well'.

In addition, I comfort myself with watching reruns of the Mary Tyler Moore, Newhart and Bob Newhart shows-hearkening back to when I either didn't have any real concerns or they were of the nature of getting the feathering (with the curling iron/blow dryer) of my hair just so.

Time Marches On

2012-01-19T19:46:00.000-05:00

Maisie, January 2012

Maisie, January 2008

Me, sometime in 1963

Me, january 2012

Leaning Towards Acceptance

2012-01-08T11:27:00.000-05:00

I recently came across this idea. It's called Kinfolk. It's visually and graphically beautiful. It represents in a stylized fashion what is most important to me. As an introvert I have always known that I am most comfortable with a few close and deeply meaningful friends sharing good food in a natural setting-talking, sitting quietly, doing something- anything, no limit to the content of conversation and letting this happen time and again over a number of weeks, months and years until there is a deep and rich tonal mellowness to the interactions. Yet, there is a part of me that still struggles with trying to be the extrovert-larger than life and the life of the party. This dichotomy is present for me in my personal and interpersonal realms and my career/work stage. There are times when I can clearly see my way and other times when I strive toward what I know is not ME, but the me I believe I should be. Sometimes, I am in the flow with the rightness for me or (righteousness perhaps) and other times I am mired in anxiety and discontent for either choosing "wrongly" or feeling at odds. As I have gotten older, I have experienced the phenomena of "the more I know, the less I am sure" about a lot of stuff in life. I am OK with that. Nothing is written in stone...

As a parent, I want to be able to give everything I've got...so far I have gotten more from my daughter- many examples of being in the moment, self mastery and regard, social skills...I just want to be able to ease in and let it all be and shake out to what is. And create a right livelihood for me and my family that enhances and reflects our lifestyles.
To that end, we had a small gathering of artistic people who shared good food, drink, space and conversation last night. And they are moving toward their own level of acceptance-they might be having twins! Thanks guys! Love you and good luck!

Let's Not Call Them Resolutions Necessarily...

2012-01-02T18:18:00.000-05:00

The wheel has turned again and we are in the infancy of a new year. Some would suggest this is the last year (See 2012 Mayan Prophecy). I sure hope that it isn't. There is a lot I still want to either continue doing or begin doing. The following is short sampler of what I have in mind:

Crossfit: on my own and as time and finances permit, at a box. I also am toying with the idea of doing an obstacle course type of race like this.
Along with Crossfit comes the Paleo diet.
Utilize our newly designed permaculture beds to our best benefit.
Get OUTSIDE as often as possible.
Plan and maybe even go on a trip-top contenders are California and Iceland.
Focus on writing as a viable income generator
Have fun and enjoy family and friends
Say Yes more often than I say No
...

Exhibit A of how to live life on your own terms.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...Right Now

2011-12-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

Today, I am grooving on:

Sarah McLachlan's WinterSong CD
Portsmouth, NH
presenting to and facilitating a group of committed, compassionate and engaged people
my ACG jacket and Columbia Omni Heat boots purchased last year
Crossfit MF
winter light
the moon
the crisp and seasonal weather

I Blame Daktari

2011-11-19T22:45:00.000-05:00

Daktari is one of the first television shows I remember watching. Mostly, I remember Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lion and the Jeeps, Range Rovers, Land Cruisers.

In today's current state of affairs with gas costs and environmental concerns regarding traditional motor vehicles, I can't really justify having a vehicle like that of my own. If I were more mechanically handy or had unlimited income, I would look into some of the specialized dealers in these type of all terrain vehicles that have been retro-fitted or designed to burn bio-fuels. But alas...my auto-eroticism leads me to fantasies of Ford re-issuing their iconic first generation Bronco with a Prius-type engine at a $15k price tag.

Here are two photos taken in the last few weeks of vehicles I've seen around. It's like porn for auto -philiacs.

Going Dust

2011-11-18T11:56:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite poem. It was in Yankee magazine years ago. Apparently Yankee is my go-to source for poetry...I still remember a phrase from one poem, that I think, was about early spring...the sun picks at scabs of snow...

This one captures the beauty of this time of year so perfectly. Enjoy.

GOING DUST

This is mine, this calm and modest
twilight
When night begins early to filter
between
The flaps of gray sky and the
evergreen
Mocks the maple. The kaleidscope
plight
Of leaves, the cold end of summer
roses, blight
On the garden that comes in the
unseen
Hours of frost, to others, these things
may mean
Sorrow: to me, they are joy and joy
outright.
I hope to die in such young November
as this and be laid to rest under just
Such a sky, to finally, peacefully lie
In the scent of apples that will
remember
How I gazed on them once, when
going dust
Was a dream that living could not
mortify.

-Paul Smithers, Cottontown, TN

I Dream of Slumber

2011-11-11T14:31:00.000-05:00

Soule Mama recently posted a story about falling asleep in the woods. There is something that seems so decadent about napping, Rip Van Winkle-style, in the forest in the middle of a November day ablaze with sunshine. It is beyond sad for me to think I am that far removed from the simple joys of following my cicadian rythym and my heart into the wild.

I have tasted the sweetness of a purloined cat nap out in the open. I have fallen asleep lying scrunched up on the floor of my kayak. The waves lulling me to slumber much the same way they did when I was a child under the decking on my parent's teal blue Starcraft run- about. I have slept soundly on a beach under an azure October sky near Mt. Blue among the tracks of raccoons, fox, and deer who had ventured to the lake for refreshment. That is one of my fondest memories actually. It felt so ...good and familiar. Tired, rest. Rested, get up. No clock watching, no alarms, no schedule.

I have been taken with the notion of sleeping out in a snow trench in the back yard as soon as we get snow and I get a winter sleeping bag. This idea was planted in my consciousness years ago by my gear- headed and happiest- to- be- sleeping -on -the -ground -in -the- unfettered- night -air best bud. I'll let you know how it goes.

Here is a book by Rebekah Raye and a poem by Wendell Berry to inspire you to find your wild resting place.

THE PEACE OF WILD THINGS

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

— Wendell Berry

Nearing Halloween

2011-10-30T22:55:00.001-04:00

They say that on Halloween the veils between the worlds, this one and the next, thin. This year, the veil between the seasons has thinned. We had a nor'easter come in last night that left us with several inches of snow. Even though it is still October and the time hasn't changed, the light seemed different tonight and the sound of snow crunching under foot was an unexpected joy.

All day, I have been visited in memory by ghosts of Halloweens past: Going with my father to the barber in Mayfield. The shop was in the A- frames. I can smell the warm scent of the aftershave hanging in the air and watch with anticipation the white-tails in the snow peering out from their life-sized wall mural framing the nook where the magazines were; Riding in the snow in my uncle's red Willy Jeep behind the station. The morning sun is bouncing off the snow and the bright sky as chains clank on the metal floor and I try to hold on to my seat located over the rear wheel. Everyone's cheeks are as red as the paint on the vehicle; Excited to be in the "little school" Halloween parade, marching down North Main Street my blue winter coat with white faux fur fringe around the hood covering my costume. Snow flakes swirl in the air. I am haunted and I am happy.

Jack the third, 2011

Playing in the snow, October 30, 2011

Trick or Treat? Snow, October 29, 2011

Permaculture Transformation

2011-10-19T22:49:00.002-04:00

We held a permaculture sheet mulching work party at our house this past weekend. This sentence most likely needs decoding. Permaculture is an approach to living that is focused on sustainability and connection. The word itself is a contraction of "permanent culture" and "permanent agriculture". There are guiding design principles and attitudinal principles. For example in the sheet mulching project we did, three main principles of permaculture design were key: use small scale, intensive systems; optimize edge; use biological and renewable resources A permaculture attitude reflected in our garden design is get a yield. Sheet mulching is composting in place and building soil in a similar manner to the way nature does it. The benefits are many including weed suppression, water conservation and maintenance
soil health and organisms.

The designer and skill facilitator was Dave Homa. He led us in the design, multiple steps and layers of laying out the key hole gardens and the furrows. We used leaves, coffee grounds, seaweed, newspapers, wood chips, stone dust, cardboard, chicken and rabbit manure, woody plants, straw and compost. The garden transformed from essentially a "weed bed" to an organized and optimized space for planting and pollinators.

More information about permaculture can be found at Portland Maine Permaculture.

BEFORE

Creating a starting point

Laying the outline of a key hole with material from the garden

List of inputs

The Design

Adding the compost

Laying down the base for the paths

Straw on the beds and wood chips in the paths complete the design

Fitness is intrinsic

2011-10-04T22:28:00.000-04:00

I've noticed Maisie, at three and half, moves her body -ALOT. But more importantly, she intuitively executes moves endemic to Crossfit and MovNat. She jumps up and down, across over and off of things, she planks and bridges, she does dips, presses, squats, and pull ups and she can run...for a long distance and time. She also is into yoga. And she is ripped! She has a six pack, calves and thighs and glutes that adults strive for and the cutest little biceps and deltoids. She incorporates all this activity into her day in a natural and flowing way. She eats based on her hunger-sometimes a bottomless pit, other days very light.
Last night, she was at a party where there was a small trampoline. She was eager to show me her "new" move-essentially a pull up and knees to bar into a roll. After that she spent time in another room-spinning her body around and around and around...

I am trying to emulate her activity and verve.

Lunge!

Welcome to the gunshow!

Up on the Catwalk...Common Ground Fair Style

2011-09-28T21:54:00.003-04:00

Cold Splinters did a piece for GQ about the most stylish environmentalists of all time. Here is my contribution to the blogosphere; The Cultivation of Organic Style-What Farmers Wear.

bold facial hair

no shirt can be stylish

these boots were made for walking-the baby

floral motif

sometimes it's in the details-check out the belt

jewelry for men

2011-09-24T23:00:00.000-04:00

If you like honey, I suggest you try to get your hands on some of Overland Honey's Ruby Red raw honey. It's a seasonal honey made from the pollen of Japanese Knotweed (bamboo). It is the best!
I got mine at the Honey Exchange in Portland.

If Soule Mama has it...

2011-09-21T16:09:00.000-04:00

Faux Mama wants it!

So, I got it!

Age and Being a Relative

2011-09-14T23:17:00.000-04:00

I have recently been on a short diatribe about an incident at Storyland in NH. Essentially, I was mistaken for a "senior citizen" followed by disbelief that I was only 48. The thing is, this is not an isolated incident. On more than one occasion, I have been mistaken for my child's grandparent, my partner's parent and given a significant senior discount at Friendly's.

A friend of mine sent me a link to a CNN article that reflected the writer's process around being referred to as her child's grandparent. The writer, a black woman, also wrote of being asked if she was the nanny. I was asked once if I was auntie. This query, coming after apparently being sized up as a gay woman who apparently could not possibly be an actual parent.

Being a grandmother in and of itself is not the issue. It is the assumptive license taken by strangers. Granted, not everyone has a child when they are 45. But not everyone has one when they are 16 either. The first time I was asked if I had any grandchildren, I was 35. I was in shock. But my cousin, by the time she was 35 was a grandmother 3 times over. Of course, she had her first child at 16 and he had his at 19 (twins, more than one mother).

I think there is a disconnect between my perceived age and my self perceived age. I am not proud of my discomfort with the changes incurred with maturing. After all, I am the same person who wrote a paper in college stating "I am looking forward to the day when I will have a leathered, wizened visage". I appreciate my father-in-law, who used to introduce Maisie as his "little sister". Of course, in his family his uncle is 17 years younger than his next sibling.

The best approach one gentleman took was asking if Maisie and I were related. When I said yes, he said he could see the family resemblance. Suave.

2011-09-10T07:32:00.000-04:00

Here are three things the wee one has said this summer that has made my heart sing with pride (and hope):

I wish it were snowing right now; what is Wal-Mart?; and to Mimi who was sitting with her, Come and see the carrots we froze for the winter.

Wedding weekend

2011-08-29T22:46:00.000-04:00

the dancing queen

hurry up and wait

One of my best and oldest friends got married this weekend. I was the officiant. It was wonderful. One of my favorite parts was the crowd dancing to Hava Nagila and hoisting my friend and her bride high in the air-made even more poignant by the vision of one of the bride's ex-husband exuberantly dancing and holding his ex-wife high in the air in total celebration.

I Stood up to Two Bullies...Why Do I Feel So Badly About It?

2011-08-14T21:49:00.000-04:00

I was walking up the rocks from the water, toward the stairs to camp. There were two loud and raucous boys catching crabs in the tide pools. I heard one say "Look at that big, fat lady". Then more loudly and more taunting, "Look at her big butt.". I was about 20 feet away from them. I stopped, turned and addressed them in my most authoritative, adult voice, "Shut up." I said. I turned and continued toward the stairs. The bigger one (10-ish) said "He said it, pointing to his compatriot. I replied, " I don't care who said it. Don't say it all. It's rude." I turned and came up the stairs.

I relayed the particulars of the exchange with great grammie. She said, "Good. They need to be spoken to." I asked my partner if she heard any of the verbal fisticuffs. She had not. When she heard the particulars, she agreed with her grandmother. I was expecting some leeway to be garnered the boys because of their age, but a 10 year old bully is on his way to being an adult one. And, I am not a fan of the term "shut up", but in this instance it seemed fitting, because 1) it was something a 10 year old would get and 2) it was precisely what I wanted them to do.

I hope they have thought about the incident as much as I have and I hope they change their behavior. At the very least, I hope the older one gets the courage to call the other one out for his behavior instead of waiting for someone else to do it.

Homesick

2011-08-11T16:46:00.001-04:00

There are certain days and times of day, even, when I am SO wistful for the place I grew up. Today, this week actually, has been one of these times.

This is the group I wouldn't mind being in a shipwreck/airplane crash survivlist scenario with...

2011-08-05T22:44:00.002-04:00

My 30th high school reunion was last weekend. For years, in my mind, I would recall memories of people from school or events and often think"When I see them again I will ask about that". It's like a LONG vacation and then we will all be back at school. Occasionally, I would have dreams about being back in highs school and it was always so real to me. As the reunion approached the dreams became less pleasant-I was dreaming of getting to the event and either everybody would be so old looking I didn't recognize them or the other way around-I was the only who had changed. This was the first reunion I had known about in the thirty years since we graduated, so I felt very strongly about attending it. Thank goodness for Face Book, as I had reconnected with several of my classmates and schoolmates.

I returned from the Friday night portion of the reunion and shared with my partner some of the events and impressions of the evening. I didn't really think more about it while waiting for Saturday night's dinner portion of the weekend. At one point, my spouse was telling one of my classmates about my comments of the night before regarding everyone "was so nice". She heartily concurred with this assessment upon meeting them for a few hours and went on to say that "nice' was not an adjective she would use to describe her reunion we attended two years ago.

In the past week, I have had time to reflect on the reunion. And I am still struck with the niceness, familiarity, comfort and ease of being with these "kids".

Haute Couture

2011-07-22T13:44:00.001-04:00

I have a confession. I love reading men's magazines. I have subscriptions to GQ and Details, but will buy Men's Health and Men's Journal frequently if I am jonesing for some input. Originally it began as an obsession for the ads-Nautica, Hillfiger, Lauren, then stepped up to the cologne samples. I take these out and put them strategically in my car (they are losing their efficacy though as D-O-G gets more odoriferous with age). My next rung on the crack pipe of "style" is the grooming and " the style guy-Glenn O'Brien" pieces in these mags. (To be fair, GQ is also my go to source for political reporting) I am fascinated by the amount of history and attention to detail in these articles. They say you become an expert at something if you read 100 books or something to that effect. I am certain I have absorbed that many GQ's alone.
The editors are always chastising men to establish and nurture a relationship with a fine tailor and to have your clothing fitted, even if you are not male model material. Ha! I thought. Just more narcissism and pandering to the NYC crowd. Well...I have to tell you I took a pair of white jeans to a new alteration shop near my home to be shortened. By the time she was done with me, we made the decision to shorten, taper and take in (to actual fit) the jeans to my body, of which I can VERY safely say is not model material. I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks-and I didn't even have the jeans!
Granted it did seem rather pricey when all was said and done, but the jeans cost $19 (LLBean) and with the additional fee, they will be about the price of a regular pair of higher end jeans with one notable exception -they fit ME!
I may have discovered a new obsession.

Friday Photo

2011-07-02T13:23:00.000-04:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. (Inspired by Soule Mama)

Friday Photo

2011-06-24T17:59:00.000-04:00

Friday Photo

2011-06-17T17:38:00.000-04:00

Friday Photo

2011-06-10T20:28:00.000-04:00

Oops!

2011-06-07T22:25:00.000-04:00

I may not be fit to be a "chicken mama". This evening, before supper, Maisie wanted to go to the coop to gather the eggs for the day and that is when we discovered I had forgotten to open the little door allowing access to the coop from the pen. Which means they spent all day outside with no access to their water or nest boxes. I remedied this straight away by opening the door and they charged in and slugged down water like foreign legionaires discovering an oasis. Next is evidence illustrating why I might not be a fit "Maisie momma" either. We discovered two eggs that had been laid under the ramp going from the pen to the coop. The pen is about 3 feet tall and, of course, where the eggs were located was on the far side from the opening that allows egress into the pen. Maisie took this opportunity to embrace her budding super hero alter ego, stating "This looks like a job for me. I can do it" (said with hands on hips and deep voice).
I agreed and we "prepped" her for the recovery of the eggs...rubber boots and winter gloves. I lifted her up and into the pen through the opening. And like the trooper she is, in she went and we retrieved the eggs. The eggs were cracked, so Abby was the happy recipient of Miss Maisie's amazing super hero prowess. Maisie then entered a "Silkwood shower" process-stripped and scrubbed, during which, she thanked me several times for letting her climb in the chicken run.

In their freedom days, helping HE weed a flower bed.

The prison camp-I mean coop.

Friday Photo

2011-06-02T20:00:00.000-04:00

Friday Photo

2011-05-27T20:57:00.000-04:00

Friday Photo

2011-05-20T22:15:00.000-04:00

This photo obviously isn't from this week, but it was finally downloaded this week. It is about 2 years old.

Gratitude Sunday

2011-05-15T12:03:00.000-04:00

Taking a cue from some of the other blogs I read, here is an in the moment list of things I am ever so grateful for in my life...

the apple blossoms nearly ready to burst on the crab apple and old tree in the backyard
the light spring rain
good flannel shirts
Maisie leaning against me as I type
the taste of pistachios
Crossfit
reading
HE
seeing the cuteness of the D-O-G
people and places who inspire me and fill with me awe

I am in love with the world.

Technical Difficulties

2011-05-06T13:18:00.000-04:00

I killed my Mac this week so there is no Friday Photo. Sorry.

Friday Photo

2011-04-29T20:20:00.000-04:00

Friday Photo

2011-04-22T15:38:00.000-04:00

Friday Photo

2011-04-15T20:02:00.000-04:00

A Birthday and Morbidity Compression

2011-04-14T22:23:00.001-04:00

I celebrated a birthday this week. I realize this birthday has taken me one step closer to the end of the road versus the middle of the road (being optimistic). It is difficult to remain blissfully in denial of mortality when the celebration is bookended by heart monitors, stress tests and cardiologist's visits. In an effort to lengthen the road and slow the pace to the finish, I have been exploring Crossfit, Paleo-diet, and the Primal Blue Print. One concept, addressed on the Primal Blueprint site, I found compelling, is that of "morbidity compression". Basically, the last 7-10 years of life, is spent in an increasingly debilitated state-lack of mobility, health, and vitality. Mark Sisson summed it up with "Spock said "Live long and prosper" but Grok says "Live long and die". So, my new focus is to compress this time of morbidity and decline...stay healthy, vital, mentally intact, and mobile to a good ripe age and then croak. My epitaph, if I am lucky, will say " I was alive when I died. ".

A most important reason to "compress".

Friday Photo

2011-04-08T19:39:00.000-04:00

Spring

2011-04-03T23:38:00.001-04:00

The familiar honking sound is disembodied and unsteady, like a pubescent voice migrating to maturity. The noise comes from over head and out of the dark. I have seen photos and read poetry detailing the sillouete of the v- formation against a full moon. There is a wonderfully illustrated book I have that states the geese travel by the compass of the northern star, but humans "have no compass but the heart".
These night travelers help to orient me to the heart of the world and I wish them Godspeed for their journey and for yours as well fellow traveler.

Friday Photo

2011-04-01T12:20:00.001-04:00

Hey Mickey , you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey.

March 26, 1960

2011-03-26T22:36:00.000-04:00

My parents would have been married 51 years today. I threw them a 35th anniversary party. In 15 years time, they are gone as are 5 others who attended the party. And at least two of the couples are broken up. I bring this up, not to be morbid, but to remind myself of the importance of LIVING every day, every opportunity, every moment. And to go with the flow and practice being non-judgemental. It appears that after my parent's deaths, I discovered some information that was pretty big stuff, but they never had even alluded to it. I also discovered they had kept a really big secret from some of their closest family members...a feat that I can't imagine the amount of energy required to pull off. They obviously felt it necessary to conceal this information for some reason that I will not know.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.

Friday Photo

2011-03-25T15:18:00.002-04:00

Friday Photo

2011-03-18T21:43:00.000-04:00

My New Motto

2011-03-12T15:37:00.000-05:00

DO COOL SHIT.

EVERY DAMN DAY.

OR DIE TRYING.

co-opted from Tom Peters, The Brand You 50

Friday Photo

2011-03-11T16:49:00.000-05:00

Friday Photo

2011-03-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

Friday Photo

2011-02-25T19:20:00.000-05:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, specia raordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. (An idea taken from Soulemama)

Winter prints

2011-02-21T11:19:00.000-05:00

Here are all the prints I have created so far this winter. I really like this medium, although it is frustrating at times, there is also a meditative quality to it.

Friday Photo

2011-02-18T19:23:00.000-05:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. (An idea taken from Soulemama)

2011-02-14T22:54:00.002-05:00

The desk provided me with endless hours of fascination when I was a young child. Looking at it now, I recognize it’s rich patina as one particular to most everything having taken up residence at my parent’s house-age and nicotine. The varnish is worn away behind each smooth curved handle. There are a few shallow scratches across the top of it. It looks naked and exposed without the desk mat, gooseneck lamp, pipe holder and ceramic naked lady mug I made for my father, taking up residence on it’s surface.

Upon opening the drawers, I am surprised to find belongings of my own filling them, instead of what my habituated eyes are expecting to see...discarded keys, bills, ink stamps, screwdrivers, GE memo pads, 8mm movie canisters, Zippo lighters in various states of repair and flints, a handgun in a long forgotten toy holster, maps, a chemists scale and pouches of Borkum Riff.

The smell of the pipe tobacco is a ghost that reliably escapes from it’s long, thin, center drawer coffin. It hangs hauntingly in the air as it always has and I fervently hope always will.

Friday Photo

2011-02-12T07:42:00.000-05:00

Eating Close to Nature-Canine-Style

2011-02-07T23:01:00.001-05:00

Our eggs must be tasty...Abby stole one tonight and ate it- shell and all.

Friday Photo

2011-02-04T21:27:00.000-05:00

Friday Photo

2011-01-28T21:50:00.000-05:00

Friday photo

2011-01-21T15:28:00.001-05:00

February 2007

2011-01-15T09:11:00.000-05:00

I wrote this nearly 4 years ago. This year will mark the four year anniversary of my mother's death and 5 years since my father died.

I was sitting at a traffic light on my way to work from the gym this morning. The sun was shining into the car, warming my hands on the steering wheel and casting that certain Spring-time light...the perfect combination of warmth and light that makes the sap run every year. And I was struck with this great wave of contentment and sensual fulfillment. This surprised me because it's been less than a month since my mother died and less than a year since my father's death. For a split second I felt a sense of guilt-how could I possibly be so happy, content and in the moment, when they were no longer able to enjoy this life and the experience of being human? Then it occured to me even if they were alive, they were not the type to revel in a day like today (well, maybe my father) or in the whole point of having a body and our senses. Vow right now, wherever you are, to "come to your senses".

Even the dog seems to be awakening to her bliss and joy. She rides in the car, her head out of the window with her eyes soft and the hair around her head and neck blowing back from her face-pure love of being alive, then she squeals with delight. Same with digging into the snow-pawing, spinning, yelping, dancing and throwing herself into the bank with abandon and glee, chomping and chewing-radiating essential pleasure.

It's not to say that we weren't potentially happy before or that my parents were not loved or bad. I can't really explain it; there is just this new freedom. Freedom to live with a different sense-an abandon. I can't and won't feel guilty about that. They loved us well enough to empower us to choose life.

Friday photo

2011-01-14T17:07:00.000-05:00

looking towards Mt. Washington from Douglass Mountain

This moment

2011-01-07T14:40:00.004-05:00

Integrity

2010-12-19T11:13:00.000-05:00

I have a cousin (in-law) who is such a dewey-eyed dreamer. He is passionate and an idealist, but in a way that lets you know this is who he really is...even if sometimes it is torturous to his psyche. He does not pretend to know all the answers or even all the problems. I respect him for his convictions. I pray "the system" and the heart breaking beauty of the world do not strip him of his genuineness and innocence.

Perhaps this is why I went back into Borders today to let them know they did not charge me ENOUGH for my purchases. Of course, I was hoping the whole time, they would say "Wow. Thank you for your honesty. Why don't you just keep the magazine-on us." Nada.

Tis the season for doing what is right-365 days a year.

Thank you Luke for what you bring to the table.

Is This Biodynamic?

2010-12-08T20:55:00.000-05:00

At the Urban Grange Hall we strive to be as organic and biodynamic as our level of knowledge and fortitude will allow. Rudolf Steiner in his series of lectures about Agriculture advocated many things for the life of the farm as an organism. The issue of healing is part of the whole of biodynamics. One way to promote healing within the farm is by "keeping our animals pastured in the open air, free to move and able to express their instincts" (Stella Natura, 2010, November ).

DO YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT STEINER HAD IN MIND?

Maisie blowing bubbles for the chickens

Tis the Season

2010-12-07T18:47:00.000-05:00

A Little Maine Insanity

2010-12-02T14:35:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends and Family,

Ok, as you may know, I have committed to jumping into the frigid waters of the Atlantic Ocean on December 31-again. My father-in-law is planning on doing so as well, but I had to commit to putting my head all the way under.

I know. This is insane. What am I doing jumping into the near freezing waters of Maine ? Well, reducing carbon emissions, stopping our dependence on fossil fuels, and reinvigorating the American economy is important to me for the next generation, so I am joining in an effort to raise awareness about the reality of global warming and the benefits of fighting against it.

I just read this morning that 2015 is the year by which some scientists estimate the Arctic Sea could be ice free in the summer (polar bears need sea ice to hunt). Polar Bears are my totem.

So, please join in and support my insanity. Last year, I raised the most money (as a non-employee), so "Thank you very much" for that.

If you are inspired to donate again this year you can go to: http://supporters.nrcm.org/polar_plunge

There will be plenty of documentation so that you may see your support in action.

Loads of good wishes to you and your families for the holidays!

Thank you,

Heather

"Every morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day." E.B.White

Something Akin to Joy

2010-11-21T17:50:00.000-05:00

We went to Snug Harbor Farm this morning. We went in the shop and we strolled the grounds. There was a little wooden building on blocks. The window was slightly ajar. This is what the scene was inside. It reminded me of the line in 2001: A Space Odyssey, "My God. It's full of stars." But instead it was full of these frilly back pigeons. The light was softly filtered and the sun had warmed the interior. Simply wonderful!

Religious Freedom and Righteousness

2010-11-19T15:26:00.001-05:00

BIG news! You will notice under the talk section in the sidebar an ordination certificate. I have been contemplating this for a few months. One of my oldest and dearest friends asked me to officiate at her wedding (planned for summer 2011) and after doing some poking around for ideas and such, I came upon this "ordination" from Universal Life Church. Although it is unlikely my friend's wedding will be legally recognized, especially in light of Maine's recent gubernatorial election, I can legally marry folks. Since my own marriage last year and in the rubble of the aftermath that was Vote No on 1, marriage is a VERY poignant topic and what better way to honor and reinforce the magnitude of such an undertaking?

Funerals, baptisms, ceremonial rites and last rites also fall under this (and now, my) jurisdiction.

The Universal Life Church has two basic tenets: To promote freedom of religion and to do that which is right. Anyone who knows me also knows I would be behind these premises ten-fold.

I in no way wish to undermine or minimize the education and professionalism of other clergy. I take this very seriously and will act in accordance.

If you are in need of any of these services, please let me know. I would love to help make these transitions and life events honorable, sacred, and unforgettable.

October teaches me ...again.

2010-10-30T13:59:00.000-04:00

It's approaching three thirty a.m. and the backyard is illuminated by a nearly full moon hanging low and squat in the western night sky. I am waiting for the dog who has awakened me so that she can go out and relieve herself. This is happening with increasing frequency as her age and the effects of a newly diagnosed kidney disease make themselves more known. Turning as I shut the door, a wisp of a memory brushes up against me-it is Maisie snug in bed between her mother and I. A pang of ...of what? I'm not really sure what to call it. Am I envious of my young daughter for whom the weight of the world does not yet labor her slumber? Am I sensing the icy grasp of a grief long forgotten? The loss of my own worldly innocence, a time when, I too, was nested in the loving embrace of those I held most dear to me in my little realm? It is said the veil between "here" and "there" is thinner this time of year...perhaps it is one of my ancestors paying a visit; reminding me to mind what I have and to let go that which I don't.

Perhaps this is the secret of staying (en)lightened- wings and a tutu?

Savor joy!

Birds Afield

2010-10-16T22:17:00.000-04:00

The chickens have been having an evening stroll of late...moving toward more free range.

Bertha, Jane, and Hazel (Sadie hasn't ventured out yet)

Then I saw this bird out in the "pumpkin patch" at Wolfe's Neck Farm today.

Joy and the Art of Chicken Coop Maintenance

2010-10-10T20:41:00.001-04:00

There is an architect in Blue Hill, Maine who has a series of books about little houses. I have always been fascinated by them. Today while I was "winterizing" the hen house, I was thinking about the joy I get from this. I have been thinking a great deal about enjoyment and which activities generate and perpetuate it lately. I met with a career consultant last week-did not go well as I couldn't justify $6000+ to meet with a man who argued with me about my spiritual beliefs and never really asked me what I had been doing or thought I enjoyed. I also recently heard a second talk on TED by Sir Ken Robinson about finding your passion. Any way, I am trying to remain open to the process and think outside the box or apparently inside the coop! Any and all insights and suggestions are welcomed.

Farming Fashion

2010-10-03T08:16:00.000-04:00

These shoulder days between seasons are complicated when it comes to dressing. Too many layers? Not enough layers? Rain gear? Sunny day clothes? Work hard enough you still sweat like crazy, so then you need the right wicking /barrier combination. ARGH! What's a farm girl to do? (Apparently, my approach is "don't give a damn". ) Don't hate cause I'm beautiful.

The Fruits of Their Labors

2010-10-01T18:44:00.000-04:00

The girls eggs have been laying four eggs pretty consistently and the eggs are getting bigger. They are also eating a lot more...scraps and pellets. We are feeding them an all organic diet and I put a little vinegar in their water a couple times a week to help as a digestive. They especially relish the greens from the carrots and bean vines. They like a juicy ripe tomatoe as well. They also get lettuce, kale, apples...really anything but onions or garlic (the eggs would pick up the flavor-wouldn't be bad if you were making a quiche I suppose).

Put it up!

2010-09-30T22:51:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday, we got a remedial lesson on hot water bath canning. It is something I have always been interested in, but never did. Mostly, because like Ralphie in A Christmas Story ("you'll shoot your eye out"), I was thwarted by my mother's undeterred fears of succumbing to a painful and undignified death from botulism or being impaled, maimed and otherwise disfigured by shrapnel spewed by an exploding pressure cooker. Food borne illnesses be damned! We will have apple sauce this winter!

Common Ground

2010-09-24T21:12:00.001-04:00

This weekend is MOFGA's Common Ground Fair. The weather was cool and overcast, the crowds manageable and sights, smells, and sounds inspiring.

Goings On at the Homestead

2010-09-20T20:42:00.000-04:00

There is something about Fall that gets my domestic juices flowing. I know the official start isn't until Wednesday, but there has definitely been a change in the air, the light, the smells..

I have been busy painting the coop, creating an opening in the pen, gleaning the garden and replanting lettuce and spinach-I am going to try to grow under mini hoops as long as I can into the winter-we also froze several bags of carrots, the rest I am going to keep in the ground till frost to sweeten them. We've been getting three to four eggs a day: brown, brown speckled, white and blue-green. Apples are rosy-checked and ruddy complected. It is a fine time of the year.

Cameos by Sadie and Bertha.

Who Says Folks Don't Dress for Travel Anymore?

2010-09-07T19:26:00.000-04:00

Style. Style is different than fashion. Fashions come and go, but style is a constant. Cary Grant had it. Jackie O, Katherine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, Sean Connery... Part of the appeal of Mad Men on AMC is the clothes and the manner in which the characters deport themselves. People sometimes lament the lost golden era of dressing for dinner or for a plane trip. Those lost bits of civilization leave us nostaligic for something we may never had had to begin with.

Some people have the style kevorka and know how to employ it-even in this day and age and even when simply going to the Miss Portland Dinner for an impromptu Labor Day breakfast with family.

And it obviously make them very happy!

Crop Update

2010-08-31T20:30:00.000-04:00

We had a bumper crop of taters this year. From three plants that started out robust, but then fell to the scorching heat, we got nearly three dozen spuds!

Food- Related Activity at the Urban Grange Hall this Weekend

2010-08-15T19:39:00.000-04:00

Here is a mega tomato we grew from B. Potter's plants acquired in the Community School's organic sale earlier this summer. They are heirloom so they look a little rough, but we are roasting them to freeze to add to sauce and stews this winter.

Roasting tomatoes at low temp. with olive oil and salt.

We are consistently getting three eggs a day from our four hens. Notice the egg on the left-it is standing on end. Tricky!

More Random Thoughts

2010-08-12T10:04:00.000-04:00

Song lyrics that make me weepy... don't really understand why-just is

"Katie looks at Tommy like I still look at you..." from She's in Love with the Boy, Trisha Yearwood

"I don't have to tell you, but you're the only one." from You Make Lovin' Fun by Fleetwood Mac

"And this is how I see you/ in the snow on Christmas morning/ love and happiness surround you
(As you throw your arms up to the sky/I keep this moment by and by) from Wintersong by Sarah McLachlan

Girl, You're a Woman Now

2010-08-05T20:27:00.000-04:00

Bertha

Bertha's egg

The fruits of her labors

Some Random Thoughts

2010-08-02T23:09:00.000-04:00

1. It is not original to yell "Fore" or lay on your car horn when driving by a golf course. Trust me on this as I am a home owner living across the street from a municipal course and am almost directly across from the 9th hole.

2. I wonder how much money would be saved if all the treadmills, rowing machines and bikes in a gym where rigged to produce electricity? Could it power the facility?

To be Continued...

Reunited and it feels so good...

2010-07-25T11:47:00.000-04:00

I have been an ardent kayaking angler for close to 20 years. Last summer, due to a nagging shoulder injury (I don't recommend having a child once you are 45 plus unless you are in VERY good shape) and the unusual Maine monsoon season that lasted all summer, I was unable to put my boat on my car let alone paddle. Well, thanks to a a very expensive trainer who hit on the magic regime for my shoulder I am able to return to the water. This makes me very happy.

North Conway, NH

2010-07-18T12:24:00.000-04:00

This car was parked in front of the Mount Washington Weather Observatory offices in town. I have been to the top of Mt. Washington by car in July when it has been quite "brisk" at the top. I also climbed Jefferson in the Presidentials in July when we passed some others hikers coming down who had been turned back by "snow" as they approached the summit ( it was more a slick mix of fog and freeze).

We were there to ride this:

When we got back in the car at 12:50 p.m. it was 97 degrees outside. So we went back to Stanley Pond, but not before running into these folks in Cornish:

Sarah, Luke and Brady Potter

We have a rule if you are near the water you need to wear your life jacket. Maisie is good at following the rules and near the water is a relative term.

Hope you all had a pleasant weekend!

Lettuce Bolt and RIP (Rest in Peas) or How My Summer Vacation Nearly Killed My Vegetable Garden

2010-07-15T21:59:00.000-04:00

O.K., so it wasn't quite this bad, but...

We were gone for 5 days during July during a spat of very high temperatures, humidity and abundant sunshine. Did this rocket scientist, backyard farmer even think once about asking someone to water the garden? Nope. Never even entered my mind-despite the fact that I had been watering nightly on regular basis since April. Needless to say, we now have more room to replant some fall crops as the lettuce all bolted and the peas shriveled up and died. At least the chickens are enjoying the gleanings. My apologies to the garden nymphs. I will make efforts to redeem myself.

A Little Refreshment on a Hot Summer Day

2010-07-08T13:12:00.001-04:00

July 4th from the Adirondacks

2010-07-06T14:28:00.009-04:00

I grew up in Mayfield, NY which is "the gateway to the Adirondacks". It is truly a breathtakingly beautiful area and after being away at my other "home" of Maine and then returning to the mountains and lakes of my youth, there really are some subtle differences. Things like the light (further west), the heat (landlocked), flora (baby pine cones) and fauna (newts in the ponds and smaller lakes) and of course my people. The woods and the creeks hold the spirits of my relatives who have all gone before...it is strangely lonely, yet at every turn I catch a glimpse of life past. Part of the pleasure of this trip is to introduce my daughter to these family ghosts and connect the energies of the generations.

Maisie and Betsy outside of Pulka Tupa (Reindeer sleigh cabin)

Bonfire- brought to an art form by my cousin Jay

Sunset over mountains and across the lake

July 4 Bonfire and Firework

Aboriginal Day

2010-06-21T09:47:00.000-04:00

Today is Aboriginal Day for aboriginal people in Canada. In light of this date, Caring for First Nations Children Society of BC is asking for your support in the following initiative:

Mother Earth continues to nourish us and care for the people regardless of the injuries she has suffered at the hands of man. From oil spills, earthquakes,logging, fisheries industry, among many other injuries, Mother Earth has sustained us and continues to fight for our survival. In the spirit of reciprocity, Caring for First Nations Children's Society of BC would like for offices, agencies, organizations, families, and individuals to be conscious of the at clock at 10 a.m. on June 21, 2010. At 10 a.m., we ask that people consciously extend their healing thoughts to Mother Earth whether in the form of a prayer or otherwise. We encourage you to not underestimate the power of such a concentrated effort at a simultaneous time. Please extend healing thoughts, prayers, ceremony and positive energy for/to Mother Earth and ask that she heal herself and that people around the world support her healing.

(taken from an email forwarded by Kleco)

Embrace It!

2010-06-14T19:36:00.001-04:00

Trying to practice our chaplain's encouragement to relax into what unfolds...easier said than done.

Buy fresh food

2010-06-04T16:00:00.000-04:00

Look under my farm section on the left. Eat well, eat green.

And the fish fear me...

2010-05-31T21:56:00.000-04:00

Stanley Pond, Porter, Maine. Memorial Day weekend.

Maisie taking us to where the lunkers are.

Maisie posing with her catch.

Memorial Day Weekend

2010-05-30T10:19:00.001-04:00

This looks like one of those American Life ads from JC Penny.

Maisie with Grampie and Luke at Luke's graduation party. Bowdoin, class of 2010.

What's up Doc? Or the garden to date...

2010-05-23T20:53:00.001-04:00

Wood print by Nick Wroblewski. Check out his blog/website for more stunning artwork and an opportunity to purchase prints.

I planted carrots (Danvers) today. And there is peas, four types of lettuce, spinach, radishes, potatoes, two types of onions, garlic, kale, broccoli and tomatoes already well on their way.

Still have beans, squash, basil, pumpkins and gourds to put in. Hopefully, this growing season will be a little more moderate than last year with better sun, warmth, and precipitation. If today was any indication it will be just spectacular.

Get your hands dirty.

Future Farmers of America's Newest Member

2010-05-18T22:59:00.000-04:00

I think she was won over by all the gadgets and gears!

Safety first!

Surveying the land.

At the wheel with cousin farmer Brady.

Checking the controls.

Pleased with the results.

Santa is Dead

2010-05-15T20:18:00.000-04:00

In case anyone is wondering Santa is wrapped in a blue poly shroud and is laying in repose at an ice cream place in Conway, NH. There is rumor that he will be resurrected in the fall.

The irony is I just told my co-worker I had not given up on the idea that Santa was real. It never occured to me he was RIP!

Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-09T17:23:00.001-04:00

Finally!

2010-05-04T23:24:00.000-04:00

SPINACH

After 10 LONG days stuff is finally coming up in the garden! We have peas, spinach, broccoli, lettuce and radishes coyly showing their green little faces. I always have a low grade panic when I plant using some new (to me) approach. This time it was raised rows or hills with "super soil". Just another lesson/reminder to trust nature and the universe.

Sadie, Hazel and Bertha with Little Jane's head barely visible.

Congratulations! It's a girl, a girl, a girl and another girl...we hope!

2010-04-30T22:50:00.000-04:00

What could be in this box?

Surprise!

We got four pullets today. They are 8 weeks old and we got them at Empire Farm in Poland (ain't Craig's List great?). There is a Rhode Island Red, a Leghorn, a Golden Comet, and a Black Sex link. The Black Sex link is already named Little Jane after HE's aunt, but we are open to suggestions for the other three. They seem very sweet and curious. And so is Abby. It's like she has totally forgotten she grew up with chickens. She is VERY interested in these girls.

Here are some photos of their digs.

If all goes well, they should start laying eggs by August.

This will definitely be on my updated resume.

2010-04-26T22:12:00.000-04:00

Homogeny is genocide; diversity is the stuff and the staff of life.

This is a line from the book Bringing Food Home; the Maine Example by Merry Stetson Hall, 2009.

It pertains to the mutual benefits enjoyed by apprentices and seasoned farmers, but I feel like it sums up how I have approached my work-life and quest for "right livelihood". I always feel compromised by financial need and self doubt and constrained by my conformist, nuclear family values driven left brain while my creative, rogue, dirt under my nails, fuck the (oftentimes a broken and spiritually diminishing) system, right brained self is rattling a tin cup against the bars calling for the guard.

Hence, my long, illustrative list of resume filler: kennel assistant, summer camp counselor (specializing in tennis, land sports, and arts and crafts), cross country ski shop assistant, knitting machine operator, recreation assistant, administrative assistant, human services worker, homemaker's assistant, brain injury residential specialist, home health scheduler, psychiatric technician, licensed therapist, Honda car sales, vending machine owner, community corrections case manager, telemarketing, advertising account exec. (radio and print), closet systems designer, time share sales, CNA( again) for home health and assisted living, HHA for hospice, bereavement coordinator.
Volunteer for animal welfare society, hospice, Habitat for Humanity. Classes in graphic design, architecture, copywriting, creative writing, permaculture, organic farming...

Truly, diversity is the stuff of my life and may it ever continue to be so, I just hope my next benefactor (read employer) will see the value of experience, no matter how wide ranging. Or perhaps I will land on a rarefied patch of this green earth and co-create a community of like-minded benefactors and fugitives from "the norm".

Let's hope.

Who knew gardening was so exhausting?

Some Interesting Chicken Facts

2010-04-22T23:03:00.000-04:00

I went to a "poultry class" tonight at Farmer's Paris Union. I won a door prize of a chicken waterer! I also learned that a chicken's closest relation is a T-Rex, a yolk is a follicle, hens are born with a set number of eggs (just like human females), an unrefrigerated egg is good for 6 days, the color of a hens earlobes indicate what color eggs she lays, and the shade can be determined by the leg color.

Fascinating!

Some of the Many Faces of Miss Maisie

2010-04-20T22:07:00.000-04:00

Chicken Coop News

2010-04-20T21:52:00.000-04:00

We got our permit for our coop and our chickens today! I feel downright giddy.

Anniversary

2010-04-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

My father died four years ago today. He went quietly and hopefully, peacefully, in his sleep. I learned a lot of things from him-just wish I'd seen the value when he was still here, but that seems to be part of our human nature, doesn't it.

There is not a day goes by that I don't invoke him somehow...in prayer, a figure of speech, a retelling of a bad joke. And I wonder what he would have thought of Maisie, our wedding, our house, my desire for a more agrarian livelihood...

Make the most of the time you have with the people you have. Other things can wait.

Donald Richard Thompson, 1932-2006

This photo Mayfield, New York circa 1963

Hawk!

2010-04-16T22:40:00.002-04:00

We had another visit from a feasting bird of prey today. He was on the front lawn having a tartare of Mourning Dove. He stayed within 20 feet of me and then took the dove across the street to complete the deed in the shelter of an evergreen tree. I believe it was either a Cooper's or a Sharp Shinned Hawk.

COOPER'S HAWK

SHARP -SHINNED HAWK

Our chickens will be mostly under cover, but I had entertained the idea of using a small chicken tractor for garden gleaning and pest control, but am re-thinking the security options of this set up. Maybe these aren't so over the top after all.

Urban Grange Range and More

2010-04-14T22:22:00.000-04:00

The 2010 garden is coming together nicely. We received a load of super soil from Benson's Farm as a wedding gift, we have a rototiller guy coming Friday to expand the garden and do some additional beds, we are moving ahead with chickens and have a coop design and builder ready to go after we get the permits and seedlings galore (basil, tomato, broccoli, peppers, zinnia, and morning glories).

D-O-G has L-Y-M-E

2010-04-12T19:20:00.000-04:00

Found out last week during a routine yearly blood test that Abby has Lyme disease and Anaplasma, another tick-born disease. She has been acting unusual (even for her) and having a variety of minor and seemingly unrelated symptoms...now we know. She is on an round of doxycycline.